Four

I am not saying it's a fluke but Will gained again tonight. He's 3 pounds 10 and a half ounces!!! I had the nurse repeat it twice and she said she weighed him twice. That's his fourth day of weight gain and he surpassed his birth weight by an ounce and a half. We're smiling tonight-- getting a little more daring-- experiencing the joy of this success.

Earlier today Will was de-satting a lot (his oxygen saturation kept falling). The nurse practitioner suggested Will's nurse adjust his NG tube as it may have gotten curled in his tummy causing reflux and making him de-sat. She adjusted it and he did have fewer de-sats today. I do continually pray for and thank the Lord for Will's medical "team" and for their wisdom and care for him.

He's been giving the nurses a lot of entertainment the last couple of days. Yesterday when I arrived and peeked at him, he was on his tummy but had wiggled his legs out of his snuggly and was heading for the doors on the side of the Isolette. His nurse was very impressed by his sneaky ways. Twice today he peed and pooped on two different nurses who were trying to change his diaper. They thought it was funny because he was so sly that both were surprised too late to avoid his little "presents". I am going to have my hands full with him!

If you know my extended family at all, you'll understand what I am about to say. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I have a family of four because there are no pictures of us together. We are three at the hospital and three at home but never four all together. Considering all we've been through, why does this matter to me? Because of all we've been through, I just want something that connects us as a little family and makes this weird space I am occupying more of a reality. Most people get that picture together in the hospital of older sibling on the bed with Mommy holding the new baby and Daddy crouched behind. Since we don't want to take Libby to the NICU (introducing germs to her and her germs to the NICU), we probably won't have a family picture for a while longer and it does make me a little sad although I haven't really said much about it.

Yesterday in the mail, a friend who makes Hallie Bean jewelry, sent a necklace to me. It has Andrew and my initials in the middle with Libby's and Will's name on either side. Of course, I cried. It's not a picture but it's something that puts my family together and I love wearing it. Should I attribute this to God's compassion towards me? Does He care about little things like this? I think so.

We are so thankful for all of the ways our prayers (and yours) have been answered. Some of the prayers are being answered with obvious results like Will's weight gain, but I feel like God's answer to some of our prayers is with a reminder to trust Him. I'm not that great with the "trust Me" answer but I am willing to experience the peace that only He can give when I make the effort to trust Him. One of today's Psalms said, "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations" (Psalm 33:11). His plans are not changed, he hasn't been surprised by any of this and "we will wait in hope for the Lord" (vs 20).

Please continue to pray for Will's breathing, for protection from infection, for continued weight gain and for the brightness around the triangles in his brain to go away. Libby is still enjoying the revolving door of people but my prayers continue to be for her protection and for her peace in all of this. Thank you for prayers for our ability to balance this craziness and for our eyes remain on our Help.