Sunday, April 18, 2010

Timing

I am learning, or re-learning, that my circumstances reveal who I am. One quote from the book I am reading in my Bible study says, “God brought a set of circumstances into her life to show her what she was really like— so He could change her.” Clearly, that spoke to me. I’ve learned over these last few months that prior to Will’s birth I didn’t really depend on God, I didn’t really trust Him and I thought I knew better than He did. I am thankful that He is changing me and that the circumstances He has “filtered through His fingers of love” are allowing me to know Him differently than I would have otherwise.
And so, the circumstances are…

Will was officially diagnosed with CP at his neurology appointment at the beginning of March and his doctor ordered an MRI to try to find out why his head was so big and his body was so floppy. The timing couldn’t have been worse, I thought, as I was alone at the doctor with both kids totally not anticipating the diagnosis until he was between 18-24 months old. As I sat there, listening to Dr. Langkamp explain all of the reasons why she was giving him the diagnosis, Libby is yelling, “I want my crackers” and rolling around on the dirty floor. Will is exhausted because we’d been there almost two and half hours and I felt like there was a tidal wave washing over me. Before I started crying (on the way home), I laughed at the ridiculous situation I’d found myself in. And after the tears subsided, I thought about the timing of the office visit. Having both kids with me and both being needy reminded me that our life was not the doctor’s office we were sitting in, that my kids were not diagnoses, that I was a mom before I was anything else and that the distractions of my children can be a welcomed interruption in life’s most difficult moments. But it was still really hard.

His MRI on April 8th went as planned. He was sedated and did just fine. Andrew and I sat in the waiting room during the scan but were with him while he fell asleep and while he woke up. Dr. Langkamp said the MRI didn’t show anything new. The area around all of his motor tracks suffered damage (arms and legs), which we’ve known about. His head size, which she was concerned about, is normal for him. There were no bleeds or signs of stroke. All of these results were answers to prayer. Now we just keep doing what we’re doing: therapy, therapy, therapy.

We went back to the ophthalmologist on Wednesday to find out the final results of his eye surgery and it’s hard to believe that we had two days of good news in one week. Will's eyes are cured! We go back in six months for a check-up. He has two teeth on the bottom, one on the top, he’s eating three meals a day and he’s laughing at Libby’s every move. He is a joy!

Libby is enjoying his attention and has become quite the song bird. She enjoys singing in a “microwave” on stage or in a grocery cart. They are so fun right now and I love being at home with them. The pigs arrived at the Thomas family farm so we’ve gone to see them no less than fifteen times. She’s gathered eggs with Uncle Phil and Grandpa, petted a chicken and a pig and went into the cows’ pen but did not want to pet them. Kind of surprising considering she talks about cows hourly.

Andrew’s birthday present to me was a trip to Florida. It was an amazing gift and something every mother of young children should be able to do at least once! At the last minute, he couldn’t go but I was able to enjoy five days with amazing family friends who hosted me while our friends, Andrew’s family and mine helped with the kids. Thanks, Presleys!

We celebrated my parents’ 35th anniversary a couple of weekends ago with a house full of people. I am so thankful for their example of faithfulness to the Lord, to each other, and to us through all that they’ve been through. What a legacy! Libby and Will took their first trip to the zoo the first of April.

Will took the non-traditional view of the zoo by laying in the stroller and taking a nap. He was happy!It was a gorgeous 70-degree day and we met lots of friends there. Although they enjoyed themselves, I was exhausted when we came home. I started to think it was more work than it was worth!!

Easter was exciting this year. It was a great time to remember the importance of Christ’s resurrection and the hope it gives to each of us as we walk through this life. We all went to church and it was great to be sitting in the service together. The choir sang, "Thou, O, Lord, are my shield and the lifter of my head." Those words were meaningful as I was reminded that the Lord can be the lifter of Will's head. I was totally absorbed in the music and moment...that is until Libby said, at a very silent time, "I want to go home!!" Ah, motherhood.

We celebrated Andrew's family's April birthdays and anniversaries last weekend. It was great to be together, eat, open presents, play games and laugh. Libby absolutely loves her aunts, uncles, cousins, grandpa and grandma!

Our playgroup made its first visit to The Hudson Elms Assisted Livning and Nursing Home equipped with our crafts and a parade of strollers. We were able to visit most of the residents, including my step-mother-in-law’s parents: Gran and Pop-pop. Pop-pop received Christ as his Savior during a recent hospital stay; his attitude was amazing— upbeat, loving and gentle. On March 9th, he gave up his earthly body. It is comforting to know he is no longer in pain. We celebrate his life and that we will meet again in heaven. His story is a wonderful reminder to me that God is always at work in people’s lives whether they are five or 88 and His timing is always perfect. I am so thankful to have known this chapter in Pop-pop’s life story. (Thanks, Lyn!)

There isn’t a week that goes by that I am not thankful for our family and the friendships in our life. We seem to be blessed at least monthly with a family dinner or a dinner out with friends or a time to catch up with old friends or play with some cousins.

Thank you for your prayers, emails, texts and phone calls. I was very fearful going into the MRI but am very thankful for the results. Please continue to pray for Will’s core strength, for his head lag, for his thumbs to outdwell, and for his brain. As he continues his therapy, the hope is that his brain will find pathways around the damage and re-learn ways to manage. My prayer continues to be that I will have wisdom as my children’s mother, patience while I wait on the Lord’s timing, and a grateful heart as I reflect on all that I’ve been given. "The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom…and the ransomed of the Lord will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.” Isaiah 35:1, 10