2312

It's hard to believe that on May 18th, 30 days ago, I was recovering from Will's c-section and trying to decide what we should name our little Baby Boy Thomas. Thanks to the medication, the gravity of what had taken place hadn't hit me yet. I was so thankful that we were both alive and that the doctors gave only positive reports about our son, his size and vitality, our ability to have more children and the success of a quick delivery. Of course, the fear and anxiety set in during the following days when I saw Will intubated, saw his bruised leg and foot, realized he would be in the NICU for quite a while.

Only after I'd had a chance to shake off some of the haze from all the drama did I remember the Psalm I'd read on the morning Will was born. Mostly I remembered what I wrote about the Psalm. After I read Psalm 18, which is really long and didn't seem to apply to me, I tried to summarize to get the main idea. I wrote, "He is a shield for all those who take refuge in him" and "Opportunity to praise Him and remember His faithfulness." That's all I had time to write before Libby woke up and my labor began. I can't read those lines without crying. I had no idea that minutes after I'd read the Psalm and written those words, I would literally be crying out to Him for refuge and to be a shield for me and for the baby who was coming. In the weeks that have followed, I have had the opportunity to praise Him and remember His faithfulness to me.

The morning after Will was born, Andrew took me to see him at Children's. I was overwhelmed with sadness and with the reality of our baby being hooked up to so many machines. All day I cried. That night, when I was in my room, I just felt like God reminded me of all of the ways He took care of us on Monday: my sister-in-law, my dad, and the doctor's office answering the phone immediately when I called for help; being able to crawl over to the door and let my dad in; the paramedics deciding to take me to the closer hospital instead of the one where my doctor was; my in-laws taking Libby; the rupture happening in the L&D triage instead of the ambulance; the doctors' speed in delivering Will. It felt like He was saying, "I didn't take care of all of these things on Monday just to forget about you on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday..." And that's what I've thought about everyday since then. He was and is a refuge and shield. (If you have a chance to read the Psalm, verses 4-6 were much more interesting after the events of the day.)

We've had so many opportunities to praise Him. Our newest celebration is that we now have a FIVE pound baby!! Last night, Andrew and I were in Will's room when his nurse told us he weighed 2278 grams. The five pound mark is 2268 grams. Tonight he was 2312 grams so he's between 5.1 and 5.2. We couldn't be happier! He can sit in a normal car seat! He may grow out of some of his preemie clothes before he gets home!
My time at the hospital was well spent. Will had some great success with breastfeeding so it was worth it. He was great at burping but it's hard to know how to hold him. Fortunately, the nurses are very helpful and showed me the right technique. I am holding his jaw bone-- not strangling him-- and he always lets out a nice burp!

The nurses wanted to take his picture with the big bear that my parents bought for him. (They'd read in one of the NICU pamphlets about getting a stuffed animal and taking pictures every week or so to show how Will grows.) This was the result. I am so proud of his double chin and rolls!
I was thankful to be home with Libby for this afternoon. She wanted to play outside in the puddles and was really dirty. When we came in, I put her feet in the sink to rinse them off and before I knew it, her whole body was in the basin and she was having a great time pouring the water out of the sink! It was hilarious!

Thank you so much for praying for Will. We are grateful for his progress and we are still praying for the brightness around the triangles in his brain to disappear, for protection from infection, for breastfeeding and for weight gain.